Home > Warning: this post is only a tiny bit financial

Warning: this post is only a tiny bit financial

February 28th, 2017 at 04:51 am

I guess I should get the financial part out of the way first... I had to go back to the grocery store today to get a couple of things I forgot - grrr. But... I am still well under our budget for food this month, by about $200!!!

Some misc. spending... we had to buy a new knob for our dryer (the other one broke). We use it very little, but I guess it's 18 years old. Also bought some new soccer cleats for F whose foot is now bigger than mine. She says her indoor shoes still fit.

Here is the rest of this post:
Our school girls team played our school boys team tonight in basketball. The boys have one amazing player; he got half the points (14 out of 31). They have another really great player. He got another 11 of the points. The other 6 points were made by kids who were set up by one of the other two. Our girls fought hard and scored 14 points.

Last time this happened the boys (not the two really good players who are super nice boys) talked trash the entire next day telling the girls that they lost because girls aren't as good at basketball. These are boys that are not very good players and contributed very little to the team (the coach's fault really, because he is relying on his strong players and not developing the others, but still).

Anyway, this is all background, because what I wanted to get off my chest is this: I was sitting next to a friend at the game whose son pretty much constantly harasses my daughter. I've kept my friendship with her separate from her son's poor behavior. She turned to me at half time and said "F called H sexist today!" I answered "Well, I hear he says some pretty sexist things sometimes!"

My friend said that F called her son sexist because he said he couldn't make it to the women's march. (Huh?). F said she (and several other girls in the class) said he was sexist because he was trashing them about being on the basketball team.

Do you want to hear what he said recently (besides girls can't play basketball)? This was in a debate about whether or not boys or girls are treated better. He said that girls should go to all-girls schools where they can sit quietly and learn to sew and boys should go to all-boys schools where they can be outside and play soccer.

I hears this from three separate girls (who were really mad about it) and the teacher (who I asked about it after the girls were so upset).

Well, I told the mom what he said. Maybe I shouldn't have. I said "There are two sides to every story, and you're hearing H's side, and I'm hearing F's, but this was confirmed by other people."

She said "He was probably just teasing them." And then "Well it was a debate." And then "But his father sews." And then "He doesn't play soccer."

And she said the basketball comments were just 6th grade banter. (Editorial: unacceptable banter, if you ask me; I mean really: sore winners? Who every heard of sore winners?).

I told her that it didn't really matter; there were always two sides, and as they get older the boys and girls will become friends again (editorial: they won't).

I hope she and I are still friends because I like her. But she is seriously clueless about her son. It's seriously weird because SHE played basketball when she was younger.

I know you probably have all sorts of comments on how I handled myself, but I'm not really concerned about me. I told F to just stay away from H, ignore his nasty comments tomorrow in school. I think that was the right thing to do. She needs to be secure in herself and not worry about him.

That's what I told her.

Now for all of you, the real reason he is always so mean to her: he's in the lowest math group, she's in the highest. She is sporty and active and does play soccer, and he isn't gifted in that area. She's a point guard and played 3 1/2 quarters tonight; he played 1 quarter. She gets straight A's and he is not that great at school. She has four best friends and is friends with almost all of the other girls in the class plus those two amazing basketball boys, and he constantly has friendship troubles.

So that's why I told her not challenge him or name call. Just leave it be. And that's why I said to my friend "Well, there are two sides to every story." And maybe one day they will be friends again. You never know, right?

7 Responses to “Warning: this post is only a tiny bit financial”

  1. snafu Says:

    Ummm, 'H' isn't the type of male you'd want 'F' to befriend! Boys mature more slowly than girls. He still has time to catch up. Least said to 'H's' mom about her son the better, it's not a winning topic.

  2. alice4now Says:

    It sounds like you are doing what you can with your daughter to not turn the altercation into a year long brawl. Hopefully 'F' does mature and the two can get along through their school career. In the meantime, it is up to his mom to do her part and teach him to be confident in his own abilities and not put other people down to lift himself up.

  3. PatientSaver Says:

    It's a shame an immature boy has to tear down girls who are clearly his superior in several ways. Jealously, plain and simple. Also a shame the mother doesn't see it becus the kid could grow up to be an even uglier version of himself.

  4. rob62521 Says:

    As was said, boys are more immature and always seem to be so competitive so the hurtful comments were probably stemming from those things. I think advising your daughter to steer clear was the best advice.

  5. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I can think of a sore winner - Trump.

    Sounds like you gave F good advice.

  6. Buendia Says:

    FrugalTexan, you are funny! I think that all the time.... a sore winner!

  7. Frugal Texan Says:


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