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How to Waste Food

April 24th, 2015 at 01:42 am

Here's how to waste food:
- put chicken in the oven with a really nice sauce
- check it to make sure it's done and determine that it needs an extra 5 minutes
- give it an extra 5 minutes and check again
- repeat until the chicken is like one of those joke rubber chickens
- serve it anyway
- watch your family spit pieces out onto their plates
- spit your own chicken out onto your plate
- feed the rubber chicken to the dog


I am not a naturally good cook (my mother never cooked, and therefore never taught me, so I learned how to cook around when I got married at age 36 - seriously), but I've learned to make some nice things. I need to stick to those things, and baked chicken is not one of those things.

I don't really need to say more, do I?

11 Responses to “How to Waste Food”

  1. My English Castle Says:

    Oh dear--I think we all have nights like that. What did you eat?

  2. snafu Says:

    All you need is a meat thermometer. It tells you when the chicken or roast or pork chop is done. They are not expensive and will pay for itself if items you make are rejected..

    Your best instructor is as close as your computer. is one of thousands...

  3. wowitsawonderfullife Says:

    My goodness, I fell off my chair. Google it. and try to do the flattened chicken. Easy and fast

  4. Amber Says:

    I'll say, I am a terrible cook. The crockpot and the meat thermometer are my best friend. Oops I almond st forgot, has some easy to follow recipes that are delicious

  5. crazyliblady Says:

    Don't worry. We have probably all had moments like that. Just to help you troubleshoot, I will ask a few questions. Does your oven have 2 knobs for baking, one to turn on the stove and one to set the temperature? If the answer to that is yes, were both turned on? If the first one is not turned on on my oven, the oven will not cook anything. What temperature was your oven set on? 350 is a good temperature for baking a whole chicken. Also, how long did you cook your chicken? That cooking website is a good resource, but a cookbook like Betty Crocker or something similar probably has a section that tells you approximately how to cook a chicken depending on size. And yes, a cooking thermometer is a good investment and you can get them at grocery stores, Walmart, and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

  6. creditcardfree Says:

    Chicken in a crockpot is foolproof in my opinion! And usually more tender.

  7. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I've done stuff like that before ... (not with meat though)

  8. scottish girl Says:

    I always cook my chicken in the slow cooker (crockpot) now, it just falls apart.

  9. CB in the City Says:

    I have trouble believing things are done, too. I have finally learned to take the granola out of the oven when it's still soft and sticky, instead of baking it till it's hard and blackened!

  10. Buendia Says:

    I've done it with granola, too!

    So here is what I did with the chicken: pounded it, oven at 350 (it was definitely on) and I have no idea how long it cooked (maybe 35 mins?). It just seemed rubbery and weird every time I checked it. Is there just bad chicken?

    I use the crockpot for chicken I want shredded with great results (stews, taco filling, etc). So I'm just going to stay with that. Oh - and I can sautee chicken, too. I make a good chicken piccata!

    I think I could replicate baking chicken if I watched someone else do it. Maybe a youtube video. But I'm hesitant to try again.

    We ended up eating the rice and broccoli and F and I went to the fridge and each had a slice of the sliced turkey we use for her sandwiches.

    Tonight - something from the freezer! (White chicken chili I made and froze). Foolproof!!!

  11. snafu Says:

    There are definitely lousy, old 'stewing' hens which are terrific for making soup or condensing for broth. They are cheaper than whole chicken and would indeed be rubbery and impossible to roast. I don't understand 'pounding' anything but chicken breast or tenders to flatten for cutlets. If you have time, you can brine a chicken or turkey overnight you plan to roast the following day.

    The most recent study suggests it can be cheaper per pound to buy a store cooked rotisserie chicken to re-make into a long list of meals. These are terrific for 5 o'clock shoppers who might opt for take-out, or fast food.

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