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Working Mom + Summer = Guilt

July 22nd, 2016 at 12:05 am

I am super lucky that I have my own business and can (generally) set my own hours. Which means I can drop off F at school and pick her up, and hang out with her during the summer.

But I still have to do my work which means at least an hour or two every morning in the summer. And I still have meetings that can't be changed.

I dragged F to the office for an hour (where she ate her lunch) and then with me to a meeting at a jobsite today, which meant that she sat in the corner with a hardhat on reading Harry Potter (not sure which book since she's read them through more than once).

Oh, the guilt.

I just want a nice, fun summer with her. A summer where we have no cares and I don't have to make money, and I don't have to take work calls.

She has camp next week, and I'm so sad. I want to take her to the pool every day after camp! I want to get slushies or snow cones!

Waaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Frown

Posted in Life among the Self-Employed | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “Working Mom + Summer = Guilt”

  1. Butterscotch Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 02:36 am 1469151392
    1469151392

    If it makes you feel any better my mother used to take me to show houses and occasionally to her real estate office during the summer. It always made me feel very grown up and important to be in an office, even if I was just tagging along.

  2. Buendia Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 04:00 am 1469156420
    1469156420

    That DOES make me feel better!

  3. My English Castle Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 04:11 am 1469157069
    1469157069

    Oh my word,my DD is at camp this week and I'm working like a fiend to get things done before she gets home, so I get it. But like butterscotch, my mom was a realtor, and I used to love putting the listings in her binders. I think part of parenting is showing kids that work is also necessary and important. I promise to let some of the guilt go if you will!

  4. Kiki Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 05:47 am 1469162860
    1469162860

    I think seeing her mom as a strong, competent business woman is a good thing. And seeing that at times there are things adults have to do when they want to do other things is a good vision for her, too.

  5. scottish girl Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 10:58 am 1469181507
    1469181507

    Heck I only work part-time and I feel guilty.

  6. ThriftoRama Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 03:01 pm 1469196087
    1469196087

    You know what? This is modern life. Moms work. It's not a bad thing, it's reality, and it has been reality for most of human history. The 1950s model of SAHM was a blip in economic history. Moms have worked for thousands of years!

    Anyway, it's good for her to be exposed to adult things. She is fine with her book and her hard hat! You aren't doing her a disservice. It's about balance (cliche, I know), but by balance I mean yes, go to your meetings, and squeeze in that pool and snow cone time too. The pool is probably open nights and weekends!

    I felt terrible sending my boys off to day camp for the first time this summer. They cried, they whined. Now, they love it. They get to be more independent, they get to be creative with kids, everyone at camp has given each other nicknames. Now, they ask e when they're going back. It's a good thing!

  7. rob62521 Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 03:42 pm 1469198535
    1469198535

    Don't beat yourself up. Work is a part of life. You are still making time for her.

  8. MonkeyMama Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 05:23 pm 1469204632
    1469204632

    Living in the land of bajillion degree weather (which I know you do too) we always go to the pool after dinner. Is your pool open late?

    (The irony is that few people take advantage, so it's also the most peaceful time of day. Our pool has very little shade, so just isn't very appealing during mid day hours. But since I work FT it just works out for the best anyway).




  9. ceejay74 Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 05:58 pm 1469206702
    1469206702

    Everyone has some great insights here. Just to tag onto Thrift's comments about 50s moms, I had a true 50s mom even though I was born in 1974, because she had her first kid in 1954. I don't know if she's typical of that generation, but she was a SAHM and I barely hung out with her over the summer. It was free play, independent time, all summer long, every summer. I was either outside with the neighborhood kids, or reading, or alone in my room working on some big elaborate project or game of my own imagining. So I think we have this image that SAHMs were always really hands-on parents, but I don't believe that was the case. I think nowadays SAHMs are more so, and it's just a different way of doing things, no better, no worse, with pros and cons.

  10. Buendia Says:
    July 22nd, 2016 at 06:28 pm 1469208518
    1469208518

    Thank you, everyone! I am feeling a little better about it! We went out last night to listen to music on the plaza... it was beautiful, and met several other families there. We had our picnic blankets all in a patchwork, like rafts. Hung out with all of the moms, and most of us work. My takeaways from everyone's comments: it's good for kids to see a mom who is working and competent, it's good to show a strong work ethic, she may (later) think that actually it is kind of cool to go on the jobsite, it's good for her to build some resilience and creativity in how to spend her time ("boredom" is ok), evenings are a great time to spend fun time together, and ... WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER!!

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