F is off for two weeks (Spring Break!) and we are not going anywhere, so having fun at home...
Five Frugal things:
- F and I went to the gym to attend my friend L's class (she teaches the same class I do, but on Mondays). Because I teach there, I am free and my immediate family is free!
- F and I went to the library today and she got four books; we don't buy books. This should last through the week I hope. But if we need to go back, we can...
- Dinner tonight was tostadas, my most frugal dinner. A $1 package of corn tortillas, $1 can of refried beans, a little sour cream, a little salsa and some lettuce. D uses a little bit of grated cheese, too.
- F went to Karate this afternoon; we pay monthly, so the more she goes, the less expensive it is. She can go 3x/week.
- Tomorrow is D's birthday! We are having a nice dinner at home (because we're all getting home really late!) and flourless chocolate cake with whipped cream (yes, homemade! - way less expensive. F made him a card, and we got him a breakfast burrito from the best place in town for his breakfast. I hope it's a good day even though he has to work!
oh - and #6 - we are not going anywhere for Spring Break!
Viewing the 'frugal living' Category
F is off for two weeks (Spring Break!) and we are not going anywhere, so having fun at home...
I am sitting here happily watching the snow fall outside... I know the East Coast is getting hammered, but we're very happy to have this snow. We've had a below-normal year here at the tail-end of the Rocky Mountains. So we don't need to water out trees today - hooray! Probably a savings of about $1, but still...
So, about 2 months into the year, and I've done well with my plan to minimize buying things for myself. I am not talking about experiences or consumables. The only thing I've bought this year is a new pair of trainers. My other pair were pretty broken down, and since I teach a fitness class, it's not good for my feet, legs, back... The money came out of the fitness budget, which I track separately, deducting from the money I make from the gym. I will keep the receipt for next year's taxes.
There are things I'd like to buy but haven't. First on that list is a new pillow. My pillow is great, but it's feather, and I have allergies. I do better with a foam pillow, but I like the feel of feathers. Maybe Mother's Day...
Other than that, there is nothing that I need and very little that I want very much.
So the personal spending is very low.
We spent the day yesterday at F's soccer game. We brought packed lunches for after the game. We ate brunch at home because F couldn't eat lunch before (game started at noon and they warm up at 11:15). This eliminated the cost of eating out afterward, and she was able to eat right away (she was so hungry! She is a left-winger and was not subbed the entire time!). Not sure if everyone thinks that watching U14 soccer is a great Saturday, but we do!
Today, F had her Karate belt test. She missed the class test yesterday because of soccer, so we had to do a private test (cost is $70). The private cost is for an hour, and the test only took 15 minutes, so she had a private lesson for the rest of the time which was great! She had fun, we had fun watching.
Spent the rest of today reading a book on my phone (free on Hoopla), drinking tea and going to the grocery store. We spent $121. My friend whose daughter plays soccer with F said that he never spends less than $200. It's all relative.
This week's menu is:
S - cauliflower stirfry (Vegetarian)
M - tostadas (Vegetarian)
T - baked penne with turkey (D's birthday dinner! It will be post-soccer practice so late, but he has a work thing until 6:45 anyway)
W - baked potato bar with chili, cheese, sour cream, green onions (Vegetarian) - friends coming over for dinner and he can't eat cheese, so we go with a baked potato bar approach and a side salad. I will make the chili without any turkey burger in it because we'll have had turkey the night before.
Th - salmon souvlaki with rice, cucumber, feta, greek olives and raita (I love raita! I got Greek yoghurt and F can have yoghurt with berries for breakfast one morning, too)
F - fennel salad and black bean taquitos (Vegetarian)
End of February, so I am taking a look at YNAB to see how the spending went...
We are negative in the following categories:
- Pets: because our dog has arthritis and a thyroid condition - we bought her expensive arthritis chews (but they work, and she's worth it). Also she had her bloodwork redone so that we could adjust her thyroid meds. $34 over
- Doctors: because we paid the hospital (two separate bills) for F's ER visit in January (when she had hives). And my many visits to doctors, acupuncturist, naprapathist to get over pneumonia. I am almost well! $132 over
- Drugs: I had to get another inhaler which I am still using once a day in my recovery from pneumonia. $22 over.
But... we are also building up other categories.
- Now have $300 in house repairs.
- Leftover in Dining/Groceries is about $175!
- $750 in auto servicing; I need a service soon, so that's good
- $300 in karate
- $224 in dentist (not sure we will need this with our amazing dental plan but we're keeping it in case a filling or something needs to be replaced)
- lots of other categories with money building up for once a year expenses
We also have $1250 in Camp, but F is not really interested in camp this summer. She'll probably do one camp (soccer of course) and then we'll be gone for 3 weeks overseas. That's 4 weeks. And she can help me out in the office. And we'll go to the pool (there is enough money to pay for our pool membership accrued in that category already).
We are gathering up the info for our taxes.
D needs to get me the following:
- side income (schedule C)
- income and expenses from the Dublin house
- foreign taxes paid
- max. amount in our Irish savings and checking accounts (so we can do our FBAR)
Missing (not sent to us yet):
- W2 from the gym
Since the taxes are all different this year, I have no idea how this is all going to come out.
But I know these things for sure:
- we always use the standard deduction (not enough for itemized)
- we paid almost $7000 in estimated taxes for 2017; I am so hoping we get some of that back (we also paid payroll taxes on our income)
- my business had only a very small profit this year (so that should limit extra tax incurred)
- the big "wild card" is the income we make on our Dublin house; technically we pay tax on that in Ireland and then get a tax exclusion, but it never really works out that way because in Ireland that is our only income (lower tax bracket) and here it is added to our other income (higher tax bracket)
I will let you know how it works out!!
Also - if you file FBAR, just want to remind you that it is due April 15th just like the taxes (in the olden days - like a couple of years ago) it was due in June.
I got paid by the gym today! It was my first day back teaching since I got pneumonia, and it went well... I used only the bar (no weights on it) which was probably a good idea. Bench press was the hardest because my ribs are still bruised. It is going to take a long time to get back to where I was, but it was really good to go through different motions to increase my flexibility. I am embarrassed to say that I didn't even open the envelope to see how much I made.
I went to the acupuncturist afterward, and that was really great. She gave me some tai chi lung exercises to do. My acupuncturist was actually recommended by my doctor; she is known for helping women through peri-menopause so I was already seeing her about every 6 weeks. When I asked me doctor if I should see her for my lungs she said absolutely yes. My doctor practices western medicine, by the way, but this is Santa Fe where alternative is not alternative. The cost of the acupuncturist might be a splurge, but right now especially I am ok spending money on my health. $45.
Tonight - party for F's soccer team. We are picking up a pizza to share, and so is everyone else. There is going to be a lot of pizza. $16.
So, the meal plan for the week (we will shop on Sunday):
- kimchi quesadillas (https://www.purplecarrot.com/plant-based-recipes/kimchi-quesadilla-with-charred-scallion-aioli-korean-cabbage-slaw) - I found the recipe on the website, so this is not coming in a box!
- salmon cakes (already have a tin of salmon and some leftover mashed potato, also scallions - need to pick up a red pepper)
- asian meatballs (will use the rest of the scallions, need turkey burger)
- ottolenghi red rice and quinoa (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2007/feb/24/foodanddrink.recipes1) - we have the red rice and the quinoa, have apricots and pistachios and rocket... just need a white onion)
- roasted veggies and potatoes - red onion, beets, courgettes, brussels sprouts or whatever is on sale!
- artichoke pasta (D won't be happy - he isn't in love with this recipe, but it's so good! Lemon zest and artichoke puree... I will maybe try to jazz it up a little to convince him that artichokes are awesome).
So using up the things in the fridge - always frugal!
The trip to San Francisco was so much fun, but, wow, that is an EXPENSIVE city.
We did not rent a car, but my brother has a two-door car with only two seatbelts in the backseat. So we ended up having to Uber more than we would have liked because we were in places not on public transport lines. I would have walked more, but still recovering from pneumonia. I actually did walk a lot anyway, and I think it was actually beneficial for my lungs (we live at 7000' elevation, and there was a lot more air down there!).
My brother is sort of fancy. We ate some amazing meals, but expensive. He bought the two most expensive meals which was nice of him, but then my brother picked this tea place and we reciprocated. And we saw a good friend of mine and took him out to breakfast because there were three of us and just one of him, and he is financially strapped at the moment. He gave us a copy of his book (it is beautiful!) and that was our only "souvenir."
That's all we bought - just food and transportation.
Well... we also bought tickets to Color Factory several months ago... that was a really fun experience! If you are going to SF, it is worth it, but you need to get tickets well in advance (you can't buy them there).
We walked a lot, saw a lot, went on the cable car. Went to the Golden Gate Bridge and did a free scavenger hunt I found online. Walked around Chinatown. Met an old high school friend and her husband and kids and walked all around Golden Gate Park (around the De Young and the pedalboat pond). She brought snacks which was nice!
Since we mostly did free things and my brother paid for the two most expensive meals, the cost of the trip wasn't as bad as it could have been. It was a weird hybrid between how we usually travel and how my brother does things. But I was so glad to see him!
And one of the meals was so good, I am still thinking about it... the restaurant is about to get a Michelin star apparently. It was a vegan sushi restaurant called Shizen. I've never eaten at a restaurant like that before. If you are wealthy, and especially if you are vegan, it is a once in a lifetime experience!
I had a doctor's visit yesterday and was cleared to travel to San Francisco this weekend!
I am still not 100%, but that could take a month, so we are going to go and try to have a low-key trip. We have some things planned (a trip to ColorFactory, dinner with my brother, brunch with my good friend who is like my Chinese brother). We are staying near Chinatown and it's Chinese New Year's, so we want to walk (slowly!) through Chinatown. See the sea lions at Pier 39? Cable car (we are on a cable car line).
My doctor said it will feel like I have a ton of air because San Francisco is at sea level and we live at 7000'. I hope so!
We did not know if we were actually going until yesterday. F wrote me a note this morning: "Dear Mommy, I'm so excited to go to San Francisco! I just can't wait! I'm writing this letter because wanted to say how excited I am, and that I don't want you to feel bad because we have to go slow. We all (myself included) need a break sometimes. I'm so excited to go to Color Factory! And I can't WAIT to see Uncle D and N! Love, F."
I called the airline and I have a wheelchair to make our connection in case I need it (we have less than an hour to connect; I can't run).
The next thing to deal with is how to get from the airport to the hotel. Normally we'd take the BART, but it takes too long and too much walking up and down steps. Looked at shuttles but the reviews are atrocious. So we'll take a cab. But I need to be able to reject a cab if the driver is wearing cologne/perfume or if they've got an air freshener; I need an unscented cab.
Anyway, lots to think about, but very excited!
Here are the facts:
- I am recovering from pneumonia
- My husband called me from work yesterday to say he has a cold!
- He is in exile in the spare bedroom. I wiped down the entire house; he is not allowed out of the bedroom except to use the bathroom which is designated as his now.
- He was supposed to be taking over most of the housework, making meals, dishes, driving F around, etc, and now he can't do that.
So... I have more to do, but I am feeling better day by day, and I can do some of it.
But I did NOT want to go to the grocery store. So I ordered online! Sprouts now has online delivery here. It was $8.98. I hope they actually bring what I ordered. My mother is covering the cost of the groceries and delivery because she wanted to do something nice for me. That is so nice!
I wrote about the meal service gifted to us by my almost-sister-in-law. We had the first meal last night. As someone mentioned - wow that is a lot of waste in the packaging! Yikes! The food was pretty good. My sister in law is vegan, so the meal service is vegan (we are not vegan, but mostly vegetarian). I subbed out the vegan yoghurt for yoghurt we had on hand. It was a lime coleslaw, pan fried hearts of palm and basmati rice. I added some of our own rice. I would make the meal again on my own, but not vegan. I don't have an issue with dairy. Tonight's dinner is a farro risotto. I can't eat farro (it's not gf), so I will sub our own rice. There is tofu "feta." I am using real feta. I don't eat tofu.
My thoughts on Purple Carrot:
- Like that it's vegetable based, but not that it's vegan.
- You have to cook the meals yourself of course; I think it might've been better to send something that we only needed to heat up, because right now it'd be great not to have to cook.
- But I am getting some new recipes. I would have never thought of hearts of palm as a main!
- I think I have too many dietary restrictions for this to make sense.
- I'm cooking anyway, so I'm not sure how this makes it easier. Just a lot more little plastic things to open.
- Would never order one of these meal services again... but it was fun to try it at no cost!
I know there are going to be medical expenses associated with F's visit to the ER for hives and for my pneumonia (chest xray), but right now, this is where we stand:
Medical - balance is positive for both doctors and drugs, and this is after a lot of miscellaneous expenses (drugs, had to buy a humidifier)
Estimated Taxes - done; although we will probably have to start paying estimated taxes again after we do our taxes. Not sure; we did extra withholding out of D's paycheck. He no longer has Schedule C income.
General Savings - We still need to bolster this a little bit. I figure even if we put in $100 a month, that will be fine.
School Savings - We are putting $500/month into school savings, I hope. I need to create a new category. This will mean that we eventually have the tuition before it's due, and we can pay on their May/November plan which avoids the monthly installment charges. It also means that we are done paying for private school around when she starts 12th grade, and the remainder of the money can be there for her first year of college.
Speaking of college... we have several plans, and since F is only 12, who knows how this will go:
- UC system? D's employer has a relationship with the UC (university of california) system that means children of employees pay in-state fees (even though we live in a different state)
- UK or Ireland - their college fees are about what we pay for private high school; we own a house there, and would move over there with her.
- Canada - I have Canadian citizenship; I actually think F would love Canada, so this is on the list.
- Ivy League school that pays most of tuition - this is only for kids that can get into these schools, but currently F is top of her class at an academic private school (will be in Geometry Honors in 8th grade). She is a really amazing student, participates in some interesting sports... you never know. I'm sure her school will encourage her to apply to at least a couple of Ivy League schools.
So first... I have spent a ton of money on being sick. I have pneumonia (no comments please, I am getting better and I've heard it all from my friends). Bought a humidifier, loads of drugs, I'm sure the copays are going to be awful. Missed teaching my classes (so I won't get that income). It's frustrating now that I'm starting to feel better. But I AM feeling better, and that's all that matters.
Enough of that (believe me, I've had enough of it).
On to meal planning.
So one of the things about being home in bed/on sofa for over two weeks is that I've been on the internet A LOT. We don't have tv. I did watch a series (A House through Time) which I loved and a movie (Hidden Figures) which I loved. And for some reason my facebook feed is full of "Prep 5 Dinners in an Hour" which I don't love. There was a lunch version, too, which I watched because it was a cute little girl and since I've been sick F has been making her own lunch.
The Lunch One - not enough food!!! I was horrified! If I sent F with some veggies and dip, a piece of cheese and a muffin, she wouldn't make it through the day! She does do a lot of sports. But seriously!
My Lunch Planning:
- a main (deviled eggs, caprese sandwich, turkey wrap, burrito, dolmas, avocado/tomato wrap)
- a veggie (carrots/celery/cucumber/snap peas and dip, a salad)
- a fruit
- a starch (chips/salsa, popcorn, seaweed, japanese rice crackers)
- a dessert (yes, I give her a dessert - usually a small piece of chocolate)
- a snack for some other time during the day (nuts, string cheese, trail mix, hardboiled egg, dried mango or pineapple)
And the Five Dinners in an Hour - I've seen a bunch of these, and they are all based on CHICKEN and BEEF and PORK. Every night is meat-based. We are not vegetarian, but a lot of our meals are. Most of the Five Dinners had almost NO vegetables in them - ack!
My Meal Planning for six nights:
- Something with Fish (tuna melts with a salad, fish with a veg and rice, souvlaki bowl, teriyaki bowl with red peppers/bok choy, salmon cakes with red peppers)
- Something with Pasta (red sauce with zucchini, carbonara and a big salad, pad thai with lots of veggies, pasta with balsamic and spinach)
- Something with Eggs or Potatoes (crash potatoes/vegetable, frittata with spinach, Mexican eggs, baked potatoes/vegetable, aloo gobi in the crockpot)
- Something Bready/Cheesy (enchiladas with black beans, risotto with peas, quesadillas with guacamole, roasted veggies and rice, tostadas, polenta with beans or veggies)
- Something with Chicken (roasted chicken in the crockpot, baked penne, chicken queso casserole with the leftover crockpot chicken, posole in the crockpot, asian meatballs in the crockpot)
- Something from the Freezer (leftover from earlier meals!)
I know my meal plan doesn't get everything done ahead of time, but I organize my meals based on activities that evening. Some nights, it needs to be cooking away in the crockpot. Some nights the 13 minutes it takes to make pasta (I prep everything while the pasta is cooking so I can get dinner on the table in 15 mins) is ok. Some nights I can spend some time making dinner (enchiladas, pad thai, souvlaki bowls).
I am putting this out there in case it helps someone... or maybe gives you new dinner ideas. If you have an awesome (fast) dinner idea that is vegetable based esp. if it is made in the crockpot, I would love to hear it!!
It's been a year of highs and lows... some financial, some not as financial. Highs and lows, give and take.
1. We paid off the mortgage! This is 100% awesome... and it happened in 2017.
2. D got a new job! Also awesome! And at the end of 2017 he started getting every other Friday off... he's so happy! The salary increase and the health insurance were a big deal for our family. The only drawback is his work is 35 mins. away... spending more on gas and I am not only the primary parent on duty, but the only parent on duty.
3. F started 7th Grade (Middle School)l! This has been good (her grades are amazing, A+ in Latin, History and Algebra and A in everything else) and bad (a few 7th graders are boy-crazy and gossipy and it makes her crazy). And good (she loves the sports) and bad (a friend who has made some new friends who are more "exciting").
4. No Vacations - no, we didn't really have a vacation in 2017 (unless you count seeing my parents at Thanksgiving), but we have two trips planned for 2018! It seems like we're spending a lot and it's freaking me out, but we have the money budgeted. Spring: San Francisco. Summer: Ireland, Portugal.
5. Spent More on Food - Ugh. This makes me crazy and this month is particularly bad. D is making more money and I need to understand that he's making some sacrifices in order to bring these benefits to our family, so I need to budget more in 2018 for his weekly lunch out and his occasional coffees. This is something we didn't budget for before, and now that he's making more, I need to add that to the 2018 budget.
6. My Business Made a Profit - And I was able to put $2000 in my SEP.
7. Started Teaching at Another Gym - Which brings in about $100 a month extra! Sometimes it's hard when I have a lot going on at work but it's fun, and I'm feeling more connected to my students.
8. Now two of us can't eat gluten - Doctor's orders because of F's stomach issues, but it does add to our grocery budget. On the other hand - her stomach is great!
9. F started Karate - she's done so well and is now a green belt white stripe; they do karate and self defense. This is an added expense, but worth it.
So - some increase spending, but we're making more money, too, and on balance saving more.
A quick update on "paying ourselves back." Even though I finished Christmas shopping in November, in December we spent a lot on Christmas gifts for various people: coaches, teachers, F's three best friends, etc... We didn't spend a lot but it added up.
We were still able to make progress on paying ourselves back for various things:
Fence (this is for our dog): paid off as of 12/21!
Medical (unexpected): $19 left but this will go up because we have a $130 bill.
Estimated Taxes: paid off as of 12/22 AND we have $240 in there for the next estimated taxes due on 1/15/18. Not nearly enough to cover it, but we should be able to add some with D's next paycheck. I am really hoping that we don't need to pay as much in estimated now that D has his new job and we adjusted withholding.
Fully Fund IRAs: fully funded as of 12/4
Repay General Savings: still need to start work on this; we owe ourselves $1280.
We will have a new item to pay down in the new year. We are buying a painting from a friend of mine who is a famous artist and illustrator. He sells prints, but this will be an original painting. I was embarrassed to ask because his paintings go for thousands, but he said he could do a custom painting with our dog in it for $500 (and I know this is because he's a friend; I am so grateful). Did I mention that he's one of the nicest people I've ever known? Anyway, $500 for the painting we promised ourselves when we paid off the mortgage. We'll hang it so it can be seen from the front door.
I hope you had a wonderful holiday (whatever you celebrate!) and that it didn't put you into debt...
We are still working hard at paying ourselves back for some long term costs...
Dog Fence - $591 left to pay off (but the fence is done and it's GREAT! We can let our dog out on her own now!)
Medical Expenses - $287
Estimated Taxes - $630 (and I would really love to get this paid off asap because our next estimated taxes are due in January. We should have it paid off in December some time).
Fully Fund IRAs for the year - $600 - This is budgeted and will be fully funded by Dec.! Yay!
After all of these are paid off, we will start bolstering our emergency fund/savings.
Things are quiet around here... we just got back from a trip to my parents' for Thanksgiving.
Because my brother is vegan and would not attend if the food wasn't ALL vegan (so no turkey, no butter, no cheese), it was a pretty inexpensive Thanksgiving in terms of food. I told him that since his diet is very restrictive, he should probably do the cooking and he agreed. I just had to make a salad and salad dressing. He did tell me "No one eats salad dressing anymore" but I made it anyway. I like salad dressing. (In case you are wondering, what people do now is just drizzle a little bit of balsamic, but I have a really nice recipe with red wine vinegar. Everyone ate the salad, even with dressing on it). I am being sarcastic and snarky, but I don't care.
So, the expenses I did not need to pay for:
- Hotel room (we usually stay with my mom but she didn't want anyone staying there and got a couple of hotel rooms which were she paid for).
- Lunch on Wednesday (my mom had cleaned out her refrigerator for Thanksgiving and asked us to go out to eat when we arrived, but she wanted to reimburse us which was nice)
- Rental car, because my mom let us use her car which was really nice!
- Entertainment - Because we hung out with cousins, had the Friday family soccer game, walked on the Third Street Promenade with my brother and his girlfriend. It was fun!
- Shopping - the only thing we bought was a magazine for F (that is her usual treat when we visit my parents).
Expenses we did pay for (total about $325):
- Uber to and from the airport ($25 each way!) but my mom couldn't pick us up...
- Dinner out on Wednesday night (my mom did not want any un-needed cooking at her house); we had sushi!
- Sandwiches for me and F for lunch on Thursday before Thanksgiving; my mom went and got sandwiches for everyone but us because we have to eat Gluten Free and she didn't understand that she could ask for GF bread, so we walked down to the Whole Foods and had lunch together. Good mother-daughter time which we both loved because there were a lot of people around - like a mini-escape!)
- Petsitting - Wonderful woman and I left her extra because we've paid off the house and I hope she can use it for Christmas!
- Turkey Trot 5k for the three of us - F did really well! She came in 8th out of 133 for girls 14 and under.
I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, too! Hope your food was better than ours, though. Snarky again.
We purchased the tickets for our trip back to Ireland... we will get the tickets to the UK later (I think we are flying into Bristol from Dublin to be close to D's dad in Gloucester).
We are going in late June and D is coming home about 4 days before F and I. We'll stay a couple of extra days with friends. We'll just hang out and I'll show her all of my favorite spots, since the last time she was there, she was nearly 5 but doesn't remember much. Also - she has an Irish name, and has never met anyone else with her name, so we are trying to arrange a party where our friends come and bring other girls with her name!
We'll go to the seaside (we have the Rio Grande, but that's the only body of water near us!). We'll go down to Mary and Henry Streets and to D's alma mater (Trinity). We'll go to the Botanic Gardens at Glasnevin and up to the castle at Malahide. Maybe out to Powerscourt if we get a nice day! Howth or Dun Laoghaire. So looking forward to seeing our friends, too!
The tickets were paid for by saving money each month and credit card rewards. We have been saving for two years (since the last trip). We still have about $3400 in our vacation account even after buying the plane tickets!!
Update on our payback to ourselves:
Estimated Taxes - $635 to go
Medical - $387
Fence project - $777
The fence and gate are finished and it's such a relief. We can now let our dog out in a secure area. Where we live there are very few fences... no fences between properties. It's unusual, and sort of annoying. We had to get approval from the neighborhood association to build this fence.
I use YNAB, and I think a lot of you do as well, but I don't use it exactly as it's meant to be used. Sometimes I let a category go negative for a few months, and rather than moving money from other categories to cover it, I just pay down the negative over several months. I guess I could move money around, but for me this lets me keep track better.
It works because the other categories have plenty of money in them and we live on the previous month's income, so there is always enough money in our checking account.
So here are the things I'm self-financing right now:
- Current household project- fenced in area for our dog - this is at -$94
- Unexpected medical expenses -$257
- Estimated taxes from September - $635
I used extra money this month and set up a math problem so I was allocating it to each debt proportionally. I like math!
We should have all of these paid off before Christmas. Just in time for another estimated tax payment in January!
It's been forever since I've written anything!
I am trying hard to keep spending under control, and there are a few things that are messing with my plan. I can't be too upset, though, since D is making more at his new job and there is money left over each month.
1. Karate - because of all of F's sports (schedule conflicts), we are having her do private lessons once a week. It's not cheap. But it is really worth it particularly in terms of her confidence.
2. Medical Costs - I have been going to a psychologist once a month to get strategies/techniques for F for her anxiety. It is well worth it, and the best part is that the woman I'm seeing doesn't require F to go. She offers this as an alternative for kids who already have a lot in their schedules or who feel like there's stigma to seeing a counselor. She has some GREAT techniques and comments. Middle school is hard, and even harder for a kid with anxiety!
3. Food Costs - Combination of out-of-town visitors and just higher prices. It's been hard to stay in budget. Also, I have to spend a lot on nuts and avocados and other good protein for F is constantly on the move.
So, what's been up?
- I had a birthday (but my birthdays are inexpensive because it's Halloween and mostly we just go trick-or-treating"
- F was asked to run varsity x-country next year
- We have new soccer coaches and they are AMAZING - two women which is great for girls this age. And they are young and enthusiastic and used to play professionally.
- F is on the basketball team, and she rode the bus down to Albuquerque for a game, which is a lot of progress!
- D's sister came to visit and wore so many oils (sandalwood, cedarwood, patchouli, and a bunch of other stuff) that we are still trying to get the smell out of D's car; I can't ride in it.
- My dad is in the hospital (had back surgery, went home, fell three times and was back in the hospital in less than a week). He'll now go to rehab which is where he should have gone in the first place.
- My brother is in Singapore (has been in Jakarta, Bali, Singapore and Vietnam in the past month) and will go to Japan before Thanksgiving.
- We had our big Turkey Fight of 2017, and we are not having turkey at Thanksgiving. We are not sure yet if it's going to be a vegan Thanksgiving (what my brother wants). I don't care anymore; although I love butter and cheese, I guess I can have them at home.
- Going for ice cream today!
Lots going on in the "very small amounts of money" financial world.
Ebates - I got an email from Ebates that said they are sending me a check for $8.06.
Meal Plan - First week back at school and we planned carefully for breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner!
Breakfasts - bagel/cream cheese, english muffin with slices of cheese, toast with marmite, homemade granola
Lunches - out to the little sandwich place by my office the day before school starts, mains: chimichurri rice with salad, turkey wrap, caprese "sandwich"
Snacks - string cheese, avocado, chocolate milk, cheese and crackers, nuts and fruit, hardboiled egg
- tuna melts with salad
- asian meatballs with rice, rocket salad
- frito pies (special request for the first day of school)
- bad breath pasta and a crostata for dessert
- baked potatoes with broccoli and cheese
Starbucks Card - I found this in my old wallet. No idea if it's expired or has any money on it. I think someone gave it to me as a gift, but I'm not a big starbucks fan. But F likes the cream frappacinos.
Gym Payment - Haven't gotten payment for July yet - grrrr!
New Gym - I am teaching an additional class at another gym in town now, starting next Thursday. Need to update CPR ($25). But they pay more per class, so that's good!
New Phone - No, I am not getting a new phone. TMobile has a deal where they pay you $300 for your trade-in and you get an iphone 7 on installment. My iphone 5 is worth pretty much nothing, so $300 would have been a good deal. But I decided not to do it. D says I should wait until the iphone 8 is out. I am not sure. I'm not good at making purchases and this makes me nervous. Plus I just got a new vacuum cleaner, so that's it for 2017.
I know - we don't live anywhere near the ocean. But we do have a beach about half an hour away... it's the beach at Cochiti Lake and it's really fun. It was a $5 parking fee, plus we got salads and sandwiches and cookies at Trader Joe's ($15.96 total).
F starts school next week, so this is our last real summer weekend.
I blew up my floating lounge chair thingy (it really is ridiculous, but so fun) and we set up our camping tent for shade. We hung out in the water, and it was great! It's not a fancy place, but lots of cute kids and nice families.
Right now F is at an end-of-summer pool party at a country club to celebrate her friends' bar and bat mitzvahs earlier in the summer (the did it in NYC where the grandparents are). We got them each a gift certificate to Amazon, but that was paid for with money in the "gifts for others" category. It is fully funded.
I want to figure out something fun (and frugal) for tomorrow, too. Maybe a hike.
OK, need to go pick F up from the party...
It's been a bittersweet week for me - given all of the things that are going on in the country and the world right now I am really profoundly sad and also scared, but we also paid of the mortgage last Monday.
I haven't felt like writing about it, but this is a blog about money not current events or politics or anything like that, so I am determined to celebrate this huge milestone!
On Monday we went into the bank and paid off the remainder of our mortgage. This is the month that D has three paychecks (he is paid every other week rather than twice a month and we decided to live off two paychecks each month and use the two extra each year as a "bonus"). So we used that extra paycheck plus the amount the bank has in escrow (don't worry, we have saved our own "escrow" for taxes and insurance).
Our bank doesn't charge anything for a payoff statement, and they don't charge anything for payoff except the $30 to record the release of the lien at the County.
I checked into all of this ahead of time. All we owed was the remaining mortgage less the escrow plus $30.
It hasn't really sunk in yet... I guess it will when that mortgage payment DOESN'T come out of our account on the 2nd of next month.
I am now busy drawing up a new budget. According to the YNAB philosophy, "every dollar has a job" even if that job is savings. We have to fund a few categories before the budget is really set (I want to make sure we max our our IRAs before the year is over so that's an extra $600 per month... things like that).
Actually the first time it sort of hit me that this is real was in Trader Joe's today. I usually buy the $2.79 cage free/hormone free eggs, but then I saw the organic/free range eggs for $3.99, and I bought a dozen of those. It's $1.20 more, but I want to see if they are as good as the eggs we used to get in Ireland. And I could make a decision like that, whereas before I never would have.
On the other hand, I am going to get me hair cut next week at Great Clips with a coupon. I don't need to spend money for no reason!
PS - F rode her unicycle into the bank for a festive atmosphere when we went in to pay off our mortgage! It was funny! And we ran into our City Councilor from our district who told us congratulations.
PPS - The other things I did this week are called the insurance company to let them know that we'll now pay for the insurance ourselves. Also made sure that I turned off the mortgage auto-payment on the online banking site. And I still need to contact the County to make sure we get the bill for property taxes and not our bank.
Our grocery spending was high this month. Ugh. And I still have to do one more shopping trip before the month is over (tomorrow).
The reason is partly that the dr. told us that F needs to try a gluten free diet for a month. I have celiac, and she just had the celiac blood test. I am hoping it's negative, but even if it is, we're supposed to try the gf diet. She loves tortillas (wraps and burritos instead of sandwiches), and the brown rice tortillas are pretty awful, so I splurged on the Rudi's brand. They are tiny... so I used two to make two mini burritos. I also bought her gf english muffins.
The menu plan for this week takes advantage of things that I already have in the freezer and pantry.
Risotto - we already have risotto rice and sundried tomatoes. Just need celery
Cockaleekie Pie - from the freezer; and we have lettuce for a side salad
Chili - we have that in the freezer, too. Just need an avocado.
Tuna melts with corn - can use the celery for the risotto and corn is inexpensive right now
Chipotle sweet potatoes with roasted veggies on the side - a couple of sweet potatoes is all we need to buy
Chicken piccata with rice and broccoli - just need one lemon and some broccoli
Quesadillas and guacamole - An avocado for the guacamole
So our grocery list:
- sliced turkey for lunches
- sour cream
- cheddar for lunches
- sweet potatoes
- tomatoes for lunches
- head of lettuce
- corn on the cob
- one lemon
Hopefully less than $30.
D got his first "real" paycheck of his new job (the previous paychecks were not really representative - one had fewer hours, one didn't have the 401k taken out yet, etc).
I learned a couple of things;
- Money put into the 401k is not subject to federal withholding but is subject to social security and medicare; didn't know that because we've never been eligible for a 401k before
- Because the paycheck is every two weeks, we are treating the extra two he receives each year as a "bonus" and we're not budgeting it. So we'll live off 24 paychecks rather than 26.
- Each paycheck will be $362 more than the old job plus since my business doesn't need to provide healthcare anymore, I will be paying myself extra to cover the health insurance that gets deducted from D's paycheck. That cuts my business expenses by $272 each month.
- Net gain from his last job is $544 per month (and $272 less in business expenses).
And D likes his job!
Company picnic (I've never been to a company picnic before!) is this weekend. D has to work for an hour and a half of it. I'm not completely sure what to expect from a company picnic. There will be A LOT of people. I know people that work up there, but we'll probably have to find each other with our mobile phones. There are THAT MANY people!
Other stuff related to D's new job:
- I am still working full time, too
- He has a few weekend and evening events (one is tonight - a lecture series) so F and I are on our own for dinner, which is pretty fun (time together).
- It's a longer commute, so I will report back on the gas usage later. Our cars are fuel-efficient, but they are still fuel (not electric).
With D's new job, we are getting very close to paying the bank back (mortgage is right at $5k!!) and paying ourselves back (sometimes WE are the bank).
Paying the Bank Back...
Mortgage is at $5058.07. I had a weird moment where I couldn't understand why the payoff amount on the website was less than what we owe, and then I realized that it's the escrow they've collected. They have about $600 in escrow and when we make our August payment it'll be $900. But we will need to save $300 each month from August through November for the next property tax payment.
Paying ourselves back:
Our estimated tax payment is $2119 every quarter. We are a little behind and still owe ourselves $2033. Next payment is due in September.
Paying ourselves back:
We need to repay our emergency savings $1280.
We will need an extra $2400 this year to fully fund our Roth IRAs. I think we'll be able to do this with D's new job.
We need a dog fence, but I haven't gotten prices yet.
This is all very intimidating, but we just have to keep plugging away. And now I am off to make a frugal dinner!
I bought too many groceries. We will eat it all, so I'm not worried about it, but sometimes I just buy more than my meal plan calls for. We do have to have food for lunches, etc. I also bought pasta which will last us a long time; we have pasta once a week.
Here is the meal plan:
last night - Bad Breath pasta
tonight - Pad Thai with shrimp
M - tostadas
T - lemon-crumbed fish with broccoli and potatoes
W - Music on the Hill (we will stop and each get a premade salad at Trader Joe's (that's our night out)
T - pasta carbonara with asparagus
F - food at Folk Art Market
We got two FREE tickets to each event at Folk Art Market as a thank you for my volunteer work. The opening night party is an amazing event (I've worked it before, but never attended). There's a lot of food, so we'll eat for free. We have to wait until F's basketball practice is over, then we'll bring her to her friend's house which is right near the party. Then pick her up at 9 or so. We never go out, so this is exciting.
F and I will go to the Early Bird Market the next morning. Early bird opens and 7:30 am, and we're going to try to get there when it opens; that way it will be less crowded and still cool.
I am giving her $20 and she can buy something if she wants or keep the $20 for later. I, on the other hand, don't want to buy anything at all! I am contemplating a garage sale... need to talk to my neighbor to see if she wants to join in...
Got an amazing coupon for our annual Shutterfly album... it expires tomorrow...
Actually two coupons...
1. UNLIMITED - you get unlimited extra pages in your album for free
2. SAVEFORTY - 40% off
So we got a 111-page photo album for about $40. I have $156 in the Shutterfly category, so I can take some to pay down the mortgage.
We had a lot of photos in 2016... apparently we got a lot done last year... soccer camp for F, meeting her hero Meghan Klingenberg, trip to CA to see my parents, our nephew coming to stay for over a month, Thanksgiving and the big trip to England and Croatia.
Anyway, I thought I'd mention the deal in case anyone is interested, has a project finished but you haven't ordered yet, etc...
Here's a photo of Rovinj, Croatia...
We are back from our trip to California! It was GREAT and it was also NOT GREAT. But mostly GREAT.
The not great:
- My mother has a lot of trouble relating to my daughter now that she's kind of teenager-y. She's a really good teenager - straight A's, funny, kind. But she does the eyeroll and sometimes she gets bored with adult stuff and answers in monosyllables. She's also a little bit critical (particularly of things like nutrition and my parents' refrigerator is full of processed food). My mother was angry that F wouldn't eat the peanut butter, but F read the label and wanted to know why it had like 15 ingredients. So my mom had a confrontation with her. Or an intervention. Something like that. We almost left, but we worked it out.
- We took the train home and it was 6 hours late! The trip was only supposed to be 18 hours, but it took 24.
We stopped at my parents' for a few days and then headed up the coast to San Luis Obispo, where I went to undergraduate.
Day 1 - ate picnic lunch on the beach in Santa Barbara (about half way there), went to see Cal Poly including the swine unit because F loves pigs, dinner at a place called Oki Momo which we all loved (good fresh food with lots of veggies)
Day 2 - Hearst Castle (upstairs tour - I've done the regular tour and this was way more fun - lots of steps!), then a few miles further up the coast to see the sea lions lying around (they are huge!) then back the other way to Morro Bay where we had lunch with my old college roommate. We had about an hour to relax before heading to Oceano for the Melodrama. F loved it and declared it the best part of the trip.
Day 3 - hike up Bishop's Peak, picnic lunch in a park, to Avila beach (where we built a sandcastle) and then to the Avila barns where we bought some fruit and petted the animals (for $1 you can buy a bag of lettuce to feed them). Dinner at Farmer's Market (the McClintock's BBQ truck was the best deal). Then an ice cream and we headed back to LA.
Back to my parents... where we had the NOT-great argument. (For the record, my mom didn't like me as a teenager either, and I was also a really good teenager - I didn't even try alcohol until I was 18, I didn't date or go out and party - I gave them very little to worry about; I was a know-it-all, eyerolling, snot, though).
But we also got to hang out with my dad in the pool, and we went to mini-golf with my brother, went to the aquarium after dropping him off at the airport, and we hiked to the top of Inspiration Point in Will Rogers State Park (twice). And we walked and walked and walked, which all three of us love.
And now very glad to be home.
We did spend more than I would have liked, but here is how we saved money on the trip:
- Stayed at my parents for most of it; free, and we were able to cook which freed up money to go out some nights
- Drove out (and D drove back because he had to be back at work)
- My parents don't want to travel to visit us, so they helped by buying the train ticket back for me and F
- Lots of picnics so we didn't eat out all the time
- Lots of hiking which is free!
- No souvenirs unless you count the olallibery jam we bought (but I put that in the food budget!)
- Mini golf was my brother's gift to F for her birthday
- The beach is free, too! We made a cool sandcastle
I have started and abandoned and restarted this post several times... I kind of know what I want to say, but I'm afraid I will offend someone or sound like a whiny jerk.
Here goes anyway...
The situation before: D and I made almost exactly the same amount of money. I did most of the housework, but not all. My job was more flexible, but since his job was right in town, I could call on him to pick F up sometimes if I had a meeting. He worked from 9 to 5 with lunch (a little less than 8 hours) and I worked from 8 to 3 with another hour or two at home while F did her homework (so 8 hours also plus or minus). I drove her to school, picked her up, took her to practices.
Now: D is making A LOT more money. I am doing all of the housework because his commute adds about 20 or 25 mins. to either end of his day. My job is a lot more flexible, since he's in a nearby town. He works from 8 to 5 with an hour lunch (8 hours still) and my hours won't change.
Writing this, the primary things that have changed are that I now do all of the housework, and I don't have a support system built in if I have a meeting. Also it's slightly weird going from co-earner to my salary being much less than his.
Here are my thoughts:
- I am super grateful for the extra money!!
- I have lots of friends I can call on if I have a meeting scheduled for pick up time (and that's pretty rare; I can usually control that)
- I think that I'm feeling like my job is now discounted because it's more flexible (I can drive on a field trip, for example) and I now make a lot less; but we need my income (his current income alone is still less than what we made together, so I have to work)
- I was a little resentful about having both a full time job and doing 95% of the housework (another full time job! I work until everyone is in bed, essentially). But...
- I have worked that out in my head - I would much rather "pay" in housework to be the parent with the flexible job and be able to be with F as much as possible.
- D is terrible at housework - it takes him forever and he hates it.
D started his job last week and it took me until this morning to work this out. D has a commute and a boss and a "real" job (which is good for him... he liked coworkers and someone who is ultimately responsible) whereas I stay here in town, am my own boss and have a lot more control over my job (better for my personality type). And I get more time with F. And I pay for this privilege in housework.
I know some of you may suggest we get a cleaner, but the cleaning is really minor for me... it's the daily grind of breakfast dishes, putting dishes away, keeping dog hair off the floor, tidying up, getting lunches made, doing lunch containers/dishes, making dinner, doing the dinner dishes, getting the kitchen cleaned, making sure things are repaired when they need to be, buying groceries and putting them away.
I am curious if there are any other people in my position - I have stay-at-home friends I can talk to, but it's a little different because they don't have the added stress on their time of a job. And this is the part where I feel super whiny because this is such a first world problem; we have everything we need and now MORE money.
OK - need to go brush the dog and then go to a meeting (with F - it's summer - take-your-daughter-to-work season... see? flexible!).
PS - I definitely think this is a financial post. These are the kinds of things affecting working families, right?
Not sure why our grocery bill was so big this week! I didn't buy much last week, so that's part of it, but still.
Other anomaly this week was that we had friends over this evening... so I bought things I wouldn't normally buy like sparking lemonade, an artichoke dip, sour cream for dip, etc. How much do you usually budget for get-togethers like this? According to receipts I spent about $28 and D got beer and wine last night which was $14.
Also - I'm making chicken queso casserole this week which will feed us for a couple of days.
And it's memorial day so I wanted to bbq something - I bought chicken and veggies to do kebabs.
We buy a lot of veggies and fruit; do you follow the 5 a day plan?
I think we are more than 5 a day.
Looking at the receipt, I also had to stock up on a couple of staples: res wine vinegar ($2), almond butter for D ($7!) and vanilla (also $7 but lasts 6 months).
A lot of this will take us into next week, so that's good, and there was leftover food from the party.
The rest of the meal plan:
Sunday - pasta with peas and turkey bacon
Monday - bbq chicken/courgettes/red onion/red pepper kebabs, corn on the cob
Tuesday - bad breath pasta (spinach, olives, capers, balsamic)
Wednesday - chicken queso casserole with kale chips on the side
Thursday - tostadas with refried beans, lettuce, salsa, sour cream and roasted broccoli
Friday - graduation dinner out!
Saturday - party and we don't have to bring anything!
Hi everyone... thought I'd give a quick update on F's end of the school year trip. Well, it didn't go well. Her anxiety was triggered by two things: she scraped her leg and was in a river and freaked herself out about it getting infected (but didn't ask the teachers for polysporin) and at camp, they used a communal washbasin which she declared completely unhygienic and then freaked out that she was going to get some awful disease from it. So there you go, her anxieties in a nutshell (oh, that and a fear of unhealthy foods and habits like too much screen time; it's a health thing).
She called me hysterical, and I had to pick her up. I wanted to go, pop in, calm her down, get a nearby hotel and see if I could get her to stay. The teachers felt the same, but the person at the camp (not part of the school) said that F would be compromising the "group continuity" if I came and went, or if she came and went. (By the way, these kids have been together for 6 years, so to me that is group continuity, and plus they all know F and her anxiety. It's not a secret, and the kids are all super supportive).
Plus, she was promised an alternative to one particularly scary part of the experience (walking 30' in the air in a slot canyon by pushing on either side) and the camp person said that there wouldn't be an alternative. I was asked to take her and not return.
So, step one was to calm F down, and explain that just getting in that van and driving 3 hours was an accomplishment given her fears, and spending the night was an accomplishment. She kept saying "you're not mad at me?" and said she felt like the adults all hated her and just wanted her to go.
Step two was to give her an alternative experience and not punish her for trying this trip, but reward her. I mean, she could have refused to go at all, but she tried so hard!
I took her to a hike at this crazy volcano and ice cave, then out to lunch (if you are ever in Grants, NM, which you won't be, this place is awesome). We got a hotel, and stayed the night and went to Acoma Pueblo the next day where we met the nicest Australians on our tour, and then to the Sandia Tram in Albuquerque where we went on another hike. None of this was super cheap, but it was worth it, and the money was in the vacation fund. We are not doing a big trip this year, so this mother-daughter thing was so worth it.
Now, back home, and I am just hoping that this doesn't break her confidence.
So, step 3 is to have a better plan for the upcoming Fall trip at her new school.
- I am thinking an opt-in configuration rather than opt-out. So instead of the "pick me up!" phone call, I will plan on picking her up unless she calls to say "I can stay." That was she will know that she only has to get to a certain point.
- Even if I go pick her up at the designated time, I want to work out with the school advisor that it could be a 10 minute hello and she can stay after we talk for a few minutes. Just seeing me for a few minutes and knowing I'm not hours away may be enough for her to stay.
- Work out that there is one person, not several, who help her if she is having a panic attack.
- Talk to her advisor and the middle school head and work out all the details ahead of time.
- If she is promised an alternative, they need to stick to that promise.
- Discussion with the advisor and middle school head about anxiety and that this isn't just an overprotected kid; we may ask the psychologist she saw last year for a letter.
Honestly, I think my wonderful daughter should be praised up and down for how she manages this. She is a straight-A student and an amazing athlete. She doesn't have social anxiety or school anxiety or public speaking anxiety. No one can even tell there's an issue. She meditates and has great techniques for managing her anxiety. But this was pushing her waaaaay past her comfort zone, and she still wanted to do the trip! So kudos to her!
Packing for F's school trip next week. It's a 3-night overnight which is hard for both her and me, but packing actually helps, because this way we know she'll be prepared. It's a control thing.
She is borrowing some of my things so that we don't have to buy anything except for a new notebook to write in. We'll go to Office Depot today. We have some little partly used notebooks, but I thought that for minimal cost it will be something nice and new to have that she can pick out herself.
She is taking my wool socks, my long underwear and a pair of my shoes (we share shoes, but I think soon her foot will be bigger than mine). D's headlamp. My sleeping bag (zero degree bag!).
While she is at the camp, I will be doing a lot of cleaning. Free. And watching Doctor Who (behind three episodes). Free. And working hard so that I can finish my work and have time when she's at home this summer to go to the pool a lot. Free.
Goal is no spending while she's away. I am saving so that we can go to a fancy dinner for her graduation from 6th grade.
I got an email from the school, and talked to the mom of one of F's classmates who has an older child who went on this trip 3 years ago, and they said they'll be sending email updates. One of the four teachers has been texting me to see how F is doing and said she'll text me. Another of the four teachers had a long talk with F and she felt better afterward.
I told him about the meditation app we use (it's called Calm and we do 7 days to calming anxiety over and over, not just for 7 days). Free, by the way.
Most of the kids just don't seem to care about going away, but as many of you know, F has some anxiety issues, and this trip pushes all of her buttons (separation from me, not knowing every last detail, not being completely in control).
On the flip side, she has no anxiety about school, public speaking or tests or anything like that. She just did a beautiful presentation with two friends on gender stereotypes. It was fun and engaging and all three girls were equally poised and prepared. The dad of a girl who was in another group (they, ironically, did stress/depression/anxiety) said that clearly F's group was the best. But they were really into the topic and spent a ton of time on it.
Also, not anxious about friendships stuff. We just went to see the 7th/8th grade musical (yes, free!) over at the school she's going to next year. And she saw a bunch of kids she knows in the audience and on stage. That's the advantage of a small town.
Next stop: the library which is open until 6 pm to pick up a book F read about. Free!!!
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