I am so excited for my friend C - she has been looking for a really long time for a not-full-time job, and finally found one with a great non-profit here in town. I personally wish there would be more part-time jobs for people like me and C who want to drop our kids off at school and pick them up and hang out with them while they do their homework, etc. (This is one of the main reasons I opted to start my own firm rather than work for someone else; I work about 6 hours a day plus about an hour more at home and maybe a few weekend hours).
Anyway, C's husband makes alone what D and I do combined. But they really needed her income because they can't make it on his alone. She used to ask me how we made it on the amount we make, because from the outside our lifestyles are remarkably similar.
We both have one daughter, and they both go to the same private school. We both live in nice houses. We both have cars made in this century. We both eat good, fresh usually organic food that we make ourselves, and neither family eats out very often. We love potlucks and hanging out with friends. We belonged to the same pool last summer. Our daughters both do a few activities after school; both girls take piano. We all have masters degrees (all four parents); C has a PhD. We all like to exercise and hike (this is a beautiful place to hike). We'd all be making a lot more in a different city (ours is known for low pay) but we'd probably have to spend more, too.
There are two really big differences in our lifestyle that account for their need for more income:
- Their mortgage is about double what ours is. This was mostly lucky timing on our part (and some sweat equity! and of course I didn't have to pay for an architect to draw up plans!). Their house is smaller, but it's in a slightly more high-end neighborhood.
- Everything we own, they have the upgraded/fancier equivalent. This goes for food (we shop at Trader Joe's and they shop at Whole Foods), cars (us - Nissan and VW, them - Audi), barbecues (they have that egg thing), art (we have photos that D took and some 20x200's)... and of course their neighborhood. C's husband believes in having the best of everything.
I don't know how I feel about all of this. I do think it's nice to have nice things. Sometimes you just can't afford it. Sometimes you have to be content with what you can afford. Sometimes you can spend more on something you'll have forever. Sometimes it's hard not to be able to buy exactly what you want.
I think that is the essence of budgeting; there are sacrifices (some are easy and some are hard) and some things you won't compromise on.
Some Thoughts on Lifestyle
March 13th, 2014 at 01:35 am
March 13th, 2014 at 03:34 am 1394681683
If she's interested in improving her finances she might benefit reading SA's Forum threads
March 13th, 2014 at 03:13 pm 1394723583
March 13th, 2014 at 04:33 pm 1394728396
The problem with that, I'd say, is they might find they want (or think they "deserve") to up their lifestyle a bit more when they add income. At one time in my life, I was always struggling to live within my means, but instead of using income increases to ease my budget woes, I'd use it to stretch even more.
March 13th, 2014 at 11:27 pm 1394753224
We’ve talked a lot, C and I, about all sorts of things. She’s a great friend and a really great person. I think the spending is really her husband. She’d be more frugal on her own, I think.
What I find interesting is that our lives are so similar from the outside, but so different financially. I think you do make choices in life, and how you spend your money is one of the main choices you make on a daily basis.
March 14th, 2014 at 12:36 am 1394757389